(no subject)

[tater_mae]

so... its been crazy.

June was good and bad. I got to spend time with the fam, which was good, but Father's Day was a little hard. It was also my mom's birthday that day. But me and mares spent the whole day with dad, and i think that was good for all of us.

Work was stupid busy. its quarter end, and that's worse than month end. And month end is usually hellacious anyway. But yeah, Quarter End sucks the big one. I wasn't behind, per se, but I was busy helping out other ppl that I was kinda pushing my stuff to the side. So i did what I had to do - I came in on the weekend. Which was good, because I got a lot of stuff done. (also? Time and a half, baby!!) Also? We let go of a woman in my department. My whole floor got called down to the training room on the first floor (we're on the third), and then our Controller (my Boss's Boss) tells us that, as a business decision, they had let Anna go. And it didn't seem like ANYONE was surprised. She didnt' really fit in with RBA. She was kind of a lone wolf, who always thought she was right, who always said no one helped her out which was why she was so overwhelmed with her work, but in reality, we DID try and help her out. We did what we could when we could, but we're busy too. and it wasn't like she was the only person who had multiple sales going on. the others did too. But anyway, so we were a man down, and its quarter end, and it was just kind of crazy. That was on monday.   But Monday this week was also kinda hard. We went for dinner at dads as usual, and then...

I don't know. Ok, so i'm not the healthiest person ever. I eat out a lot, and i don't exercise that much. Or at all, really. So my dad was saying how he was worried about our health, and mentioned mom, and we both kinda just.. lost it, i guess.

I mean, i know before i was saying how my family doesn't talk about my mom. But i guess now i realize that its a lot harder talking to them about it. Don't ask me why. They know exactly what i'm going through, but maybe that's the problem. I don't know. But now I know i can't talk to my family about it. and I can't. As in, i couldn't talk. My dad thought we were all upset at him, but really, we weren't. I mean, at least, I wasn't. I just couldn't talk through my grief, if that makes sense. It would have been babble, i'm pretty sure. So i just didn't say anything at all. Not until i'd calmed down a bit.

So that was monday. Like, i was stressed out enough with quarter end happening today, but added with that... it was just horrible.

So tuesday wasn't a good day. I think everyone knew I didn't want to be bothered (i had puffy eyes all day, i'm sure). Seriously, the people I work with are so amazing. I really can't tell you how amazing they truly are. There are no words. but they gave me space, and Sarah and Janice were there and asked if I wanted to talk, but it was still too fresh, and I knew i'd break down again, and I couldn't afford that, because of Quarter End. So i just pushed through it, and didn't think about anything but work. I mean, i had a couple lapses, but I couldn't let them delay me for long. There was just too much to do. And it was good having something else on my mind, because I probably would have been useless otherwise. Lolz, work as an excuse to have something to do instead of wallow. I think its kinda funny, myself. but maybe thats just me. But that's just something you kind of have to do. Keep yourself busy until you have the time to break down. Because if you break down when you don't have the time, you kind of end up fucking yourself over. So keeping busy to keep your mind off of things is good. I mean, its been SUPER Stressful, but i can deal with that too. by complaining. and getting back massages by wonderful ppl named Laura.

I ended going into to work yesterday too. On a Stat. holiday. Time and a half, again. but still. I would have enjoyed going out to the Salmon Festival. However, my sister spent the day cleaning our apartment with her friend. So when i got home, i helped out a bit too.

So we have a floor again!! The apartment looks really good, so hopefully we can keep it that way. I mean, ok, the Alcove is full of crap that we just threw in there because there was NO TIME to do it properly, but we seriously got a lot done. Ok, THEY got a lot done.

But the reason they did the MASSIVE CLEAN UP OF EPIC PROPORTIONS was because we're getting a screen door. And a guy from Maren's work MIGHT be coming over today or tomorrow to install it. for free. (Well, her boss is going to pay for it or something. which is SUPER nice of him. but those are the perks of the job, right?) But yeah, since someone from her work was coming over, we thought having a clean apartment might be good.

I'll be so happy when today is over. The Quarter will be closed, and I won't even have to worry about month end this month, because I'll be in New Brunswick by then! HAHA, TAKE THAT SUCKERS!!! I'll have to do my best to organize my desk though. That's going to be interesting. I'm not a neat person, ok? my chaos is somewhat organized. I work better in a messy environment. weird, but true. I can't have things totally in order, because then i can't find them.

But anyway. After we cleaned the apartment, we went to Drew's BBQ. And it was a lot of fun. I had considered not going, since i was beat from working and cleaning, but i went, because i said i would, and i knew that if i hadn't gone, both Drew AND Karen would have been a little upset. They actually both called me at work. Well, Karen called my cell and Drew called my work line, but they both called me to make sure i was planning on going to the BBQ. So i had one of them on each ear. It was a little ridiculous, but i'm used to it. But yeah, I had a lot of fun at Drews. Saw Vikki too, finally, after like... months and months of not seeing her.

it's weird, i think we both thought the other was mad at them. whatever. we're good now. and I'll watch Legend of the Seeker so she has someone to squee with. BUT she has to watch Glee. Because i have to convert the whole world into loving that show. its just the way it is.

Also? kyle is probably one of the best huggers i've ever met in my lifetime. He gives the greatest hugs. We hugged pretty much everytime we saw each other. I'd see him  and open my arms for a hug, and he complied. But yes. he's one of my favourite people to hug. i love hugs. You can't really kiss everyone you love, but you can pretty much hug everyone you love (unless they're one of those touch-a-phobes. kinda like my sister). But yes, I LOVE hugging, and kyle is great at it.

and kyle's girlfriend Laura? Gives absolutely amazing back massages. She gave me a quick one before i left their place last night. She said i was pretty tense on my right side, which is weird, because it feels like i store all my stress in my left shoulder. Its always SO Tense there, and on bad days, it feels like its... burning in a way. And then she poked at my weird left shoulderblade/back possible hyper-extended muscles. Like its weird, and i don't think my body should make those sounds when i rotate my shoulder. nor should it feel like that. its not normal. but my body is so not normal. I have two different ears, and two different elbows. so... yeah.  Laura gave me a great back massage yesterday. I love hanging out with her, and she's totally willinging to give me a back massage whenever. which is nice for me, because i don't get them a lot. I give them, but i dont' get them. I only let certain people give me back massages, and I think Laura is now at the top of my list.

What else? I can't believe its july already. i'm going away in a few weeks. Off to New Brunswick to see the McIntyre Clan. That will be interesting, to say the least. Me and Mares dont' really KNOW the McIntyre side of our family. We grew up with the Takeda side. And? Theres like, HUNDREDS of McIntyres. So its really hard to keep track of them all. And i think we're the only halfies. But i'm not sure. But yes. We're also DRIVING there. So we're driving across Canada to spend 3 days with ppl we don't really know. That is going to be interesting, since Dad figures we'll be on the road for about 12 hrs each day.

But it'll be ok. We'll make it ok. It'll be good for us, i think.

but anyway. that's pretty much my life update right now.

Comments

[skullycat.livejournal.com]

holy hell thats a lot!

ok, going to go read it now..

[tater-mae.livejournal.com]

lolz, i never expect anyone to get through it all when its massive like this!! its kinda just so I remember, you know?

[timeblind.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* You'll have a fun time in New Brunswick... or at least the drive there might be fun? I don't know what the McIntyre clan will be like... and at least you'll have your sis and dad with you right? :] It'll be away from here, and that might be good.

Also, with Seeker, let it be known that I LOVE KAHLAN and that she's MY TV girlfriend (she's tall and got dark hair - fits your... "type"). :p

[tater-mae.livejournal.com]

lol, its the drive there that i'm... apprehensive about. Spending that much time together in closed quarters... its going to be interesting. We'll probably be sick of each other by the end of it, so its a good thing that Me and Mares are flying back and Dad is taking another week off to drive home!! But yeah, getting to know the McIntyre's will be fun, i think.

LOLZ. OK. I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND. I THINK I HAVE TOO MANY TV GIRLFRIENDS ANYWAY!!